Dear black people, 

Since I’m on the board, I think I’m ready to grant you all the right to rise up and slaughter us all in an epic bloody shootout, Django-style. We had an okay run, y’know, we tried, but I’m ready to declare the situation hopeless. Just promise to make it quick.



It’s February 1, so you know Twitter is lighting up with white people — mostly teenagers, which makes me so incredibly depressed — who are just baffled or angry about the fact that there’s no white history month when there’s a black history month.

There are thousands of these; I just grabbed a few for posterity.

It’s great that all of these are from like 8:30 in the morning, so the very first thing they did after waking up on February 1st is go and complain about Black History Month. They probably set a fuckin’ alarm on their phones to remind themselves. 

I think it’s about that time. Come on fellow white people, let’s jump in the nearest frozen river to apologize for these fucking idiots.